As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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