I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
