I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize