She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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