All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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