We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
