I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
