I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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