ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
