So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
