Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
