so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
