I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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