dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
