Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
