We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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