Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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