Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
