real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
