Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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