i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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