thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
