Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
