nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
