Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
