then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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