glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
