So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
