you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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