We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
