Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
