She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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