Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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