Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
