You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I have post one night stand depression
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