Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my shit smells like andre
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
