Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
