I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
