It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
