Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
