Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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