She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
