I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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