one might say we're banned from that church
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
