Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize