She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
