I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
