I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
