Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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