yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
