Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize