Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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