I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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