omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
