It's Friday. Sex?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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